Sunday, August 9, 2015

23 Signs You Were Raised By Russian Parents


Via JD on Facebook

Take off your shoes, grab a blanket, and read this (while sitting up).

1. You were always being told to cover your head when it was cold.

23 Signs You Were Raised By Russian Parents

2. Except when you were being told, “Don’t go out with wet hair! You’ll get meningitis!”

23 Signs You Were Raised By Russian Parents

3. Wearing a dress without pantyhose? Haha, nice try.

23 Signs You Were Raised By Russian Parents

4. Everything was bad luck. Whistle inside? Good job, you just ensured yourself a life with no money.

23 Signs You Were Raised By Russian Parents

5. Actually, you were always being told a lot of things would rain destruction upon you, like reading lying down, which would basically leave you blind.

23 Signs You Were Raised By Russian Parents

6. You never threw away a plastic bag, but saved them in a drawer.

23 Signs You Were Raised By Russian Parents

7. The “nice” shopping bags got their own drawer.

23 Signs You Were Raised By Russian Parents

8. Every pickle jar, jam jar, anything jar was promptly cleaned, repurposed and used as tupperware.

23 Signs You Were Raised By Russian Parents

9. You had at least one of these blankets in your home. Probably two.

10. One out of every two people you knew from the old country was an engineer.

23 Signs You Were Raised By Russian Parents
No, not that kind.

11. Dropping lines from Pushkin poems or centuries old sayings was just what you did in conversation.

23 Signs You Were Raised By Russian Parents

12. Family gatherings meant hearing, “We’re not arguing, we’re just discussing!”

23 Signs You Were Raised By Russian Parents

13. Potatoes are to be boiled. Soup is to be had at every meal.

23 Signs You Were Raised By Russian Parents

14. Most families had wine glasses. You had great heavy crystal chalices.

23 Signs You Were Raised By Russian Parents

15. Birthdays meant fielding phonecalls from every uncle, aunt, second cousin, and family friend, saying: “I wish you health, happiness, and success in your personal life.”

23 Signs You Were Raised By Russian Parents

16. Telling your friends to take their shoes off once they got in the house was always a treat.

23 Signs You Were Raised By Russian Parents

17. You were pretty sure books were meant to be bought as series — the collected works of [every Russian writer who ever lived].

23 Signs You Were Raised By Russian Parents

18. Your parents always praised the wonders of American medicine — but kept a few bottles of the magical Russian stuff stashed around the house.

23 Signs You Were Raised By Russian Parents
Ever heard of Valerian? Great for anxiety apparently. And why use iodine when you could use zelyonka.

19. It was only when you started going to school that you learned sandwiches came with two pieces of bread, not just one.

23 Signs You Were Raised By Russian Parents

20. While your friends were busy playing poker, you were playing durak.

23 Signs You Were Raised By Russian Parents

21. Novoe Russkoe Slovo was all the news that’s fit to print (in Russian and a month or three late).

Novoe Russkoe Slovo was all the news that's fit to print (in Russian and a month or three late).

22. When the U.S. took a political decision they didn’t agree with, the first thing you heard was: “This country is turning into the Soviet Union!”

23 Signs You Were Raised By Russian Parents

23. It all makes sense. They’re Russians.

 

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