Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Quotations from Chairman Robin (RIP)


1. "See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time."

2. “Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they've got nothing to lose.”

3. “Do you think God gets stoned? I think so . . . look at the platypus.”

4. “If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.”

5. “Reality is just a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs.”

6. “I'm sorry, if you were right, I'd agree with you.”

7. “Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?”

8. “After I quit drinking, I realized I am the same asshole I always was; I just have fewer dents in my car.”

9. “What's right is what's left if you do everything else wrong.”

10. “No matter what people tell you, words and ideas can change the world.” [JB note: the kind of irony much needed in American public diplomacy today]

11. “Death is nature's way of saying, "Your table's ready."

12. “Cocaine is God's way of saying you're making too much money.”

13. “People say satire is dead. It's not dead; it's alive and living in the White House.”

14. “When in doubt, go for the dick joke.”

15. “If you can remember the sixties, you weren't there.” [JB: my favorite]

16. “It's a wonderful feeling when your father becomes not a god but a man to you- when he comes down from the mountain and you see he's this man with weaknesses. And you love him as this whole being, not as a figurehead.”

17. “Comedy is acting out optimism."

18. “But only in their dreams can men be truly free [.] It was always thus and always thus will be.”

19. "You're only given a little spark of madness. If you lose that, you're nothing.”

20. “The brightest light has gone out.”

Williams image from

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