Wednesday, November 23, 2016

Who'll Save the Republic? King Trump! - A Modest Proposal

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Forget about The Don being President of the United States. All USA citizens would all be better off if Trump were coronated King, His Majesty Donald the First (or maybe the Fist):

--Like a bona fide king, Trump was never selected as leader of a country by popular vote (Americans don't care much about voting anyway -- and don't worry about the Constitution; after all, it's been amended 27 times);
--A modern monarch is not expected to be "expertly" knowledgeable (i.e., know little about?) specific matters pertaining to domestic or foreign policy;
--By fulfilling one of the tenets of the head of modern monarchies -- being above/unconcerned with the nitty-gritty side of governance -- the crowned real estate mogul will truly serve our country's national interests;
--Kings today justify their existence by appearing on mass media and not saying anything of importance, perhaps Trump's greatest accomplishment; and he can use the phrase he endlessly repeated on a "reality show," "you're fired," with much efficacy against unruly servants in his royal household;
--Opinion makers in the U.S. (i.e., the liberal elite) would recognize that Trump, as his Royal Highness, would temper the anger of the "deplorables" in the U.S. by giving them the feeling that they are finally being importantly represented in Washington, D.C. -- by a resuscitated King Elvis ("you ain't nothing but a hound dog" [see below lyrics]) who's on their side, unlike the corrupt, effete inside-the-beltway politicians controlled by special interests;
--Trump's photogenic children -- the product of his extended family -- would assure that upon his death the Trump monarchy would continue, thereby providing the political stability that is so lacking in contemporary America;
--His Highness's soft-speaking and gently plagiaristic spouse Melania, a former model with poise (and who doesn't talk too much, unlike the pushy, vocal-chords-stretching Hillary) would make an ideal, icon-like queen; an added plus for the USA is that she (of course, not of Hispanic ancestry) was not born in her adopted country, like the wives of so many adored monarchs in the past -- and so continuing a long royal tradition;
Melania image from, with comment: 4. HER FATHER [a Communist Party member in Slovenia - JB]  LOOKS AND BEHAVES SCARILY LIKE HER HUSBAND, BUT SHE’S COOL WITH THAT When asked about the inevitable comparisons between her husband and her father, she agreed they’re quite similar.
 --Donald's (sorry, His Highness's) worldwide hotels would be renamed "USA King Trump," thereby increasing their visibility/popularity and bringing in profits that the monarch would undoubtedly generously share with his empoverished subjects, in this way contributing to the prosperity and happiness of his vast kingdom;
--Finally, overseas, ties between two Anglo-Saxon entities -- England and the United States, whose mutual devotion was broken off so abruptly and brutally in 1776, when the uppidy colonists revolved against George III -- would be rejuvenated, thereby forming a powerful English-speaking alliance that would dominate the world, surpassing nasty Europe, China, and Russia. (This alliance could be extended, however, to European countries that still have kings/queens). 
George III image from

*Part of the lyrics of the song: 

Well they said you was high-classed
Well, that was just a lie
Ya know they said you was high-classed
Well, that was just a lie
Well, you ain't never caught a rabbit
And you ain't no friend of mine

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