Saturday, December 26, 2015

An adjunct professor confesses his sins ...


On adjunct professors, see (1) (2).

image from

[Imaginary dialogue based on Catholic confessions I willingly endured during my Catholic adolescence in the 1960s; doubtless the format/questions/vocabulary have much changed since that epoch.]

Georgetown adjunct professor  [GAP, yours truly]:

Bless me Father, for I have sinned.

Priest:

I bless you, my son. What sins do you confess?

GAP:

I have been teaching courses, with much gratitude to Georgetown University, on American foreign policy, off and on for over a decade.

Priest:

So what is your sin? After all, teaching is not a sin, if practiced in the right way.

GAP:

Father, excuse my materialist concerns, I just don't think my students are getting their money's worth.

Priest:

My son: Money is only part of the moral universe.

GAP:

Thank you for your kindness, Father. But Father, although I was honored to receive a Ph.D from Princeton University, and then went on to be a Senior Foreign Service officer in the United States Foreign Service with many awards, and have many publications (some actually quite "scholarly") I am not a tenured professor. I recently was asked to be on a Georgetown University dissertation committee, dear Father, which allowed me to judge on the scholarly value of academe's "true," professional entrance into serious scholarship.  

Priest:

So why should all these qualifications of yours bother you, my son?

GAP: Because my students are enduring extravagant costs for a college "higher" education, expecting, I assume, the best and the brightest academic pedagogues, who -- as they fully deserve -- get a full salary.

And by the "best professors," I mean those who have tenure and are respected by their professional academic colleagues.

I am not in their league/"lane," Father, as has been made somewhat clear (by whom I don't really know) for over a decade at a Jesuit institution of higher earning (please forgive my spelling sin, Father, I meant "learning)."

And yet students are paying high prices, to be taught by non-tenured academic hired-hands (hacks?), such as I, "instructing" them. 


Should not the "real" professors teach students more than the academic hired-hands do, instead of high-priced universities relying on "second-rate" instructors/adjuncts supposedly enlightening the young (and not so young)?

I feel guilty, Father, and seek your absolution.

Priest: 

My son -- How much are you getting remunerated for teaching your course (s), now over a decade?

GAP:  A couple of thousand dollars per course, Father, without insurance or any assurance of permanent employment.

Priest:

Do you feel exploited?

GAP: Father, with all due respect:  My consolation is Christ on the crucifix.

Priest: Say three Hail Marys and go back to the books before you pretend to be a "professor" you, so-called "Dr." Brown. Roma locuta est; causa finita est.

***

Full disclosure: I was reprimanded (excommunicated?) by a Georgetown dean for distributing photocopied materials in one of my classes, which included non-copyrighted speeches by American presidents (Wilson, Roosevelt, Truman). ... Yep, somehow it has something to do with copyright laws.


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