A memorable poem by Clive James, which just appeared, "Sentenced to Life"

Sunday, May 18, 2014
A memorable poem by Clive James, which just appeared, "Sentenced to Life"

Sentenced to Life

Clive James, Sentenced to Life,  The Times Literary Supplement (May 2, 2014), p. 8

Sentenced to life, I sleep face-up as though
Ice-bound, lest I should cough the night away,
And when I walk the mile to town, I show
The right technique for wading through deep clay.
A sad man, sorrier than he can say.

But surely not so guilty he should die
Each day from knowing is race is run:
My sin was to be faithless. I would lie
As I could be true to everyone
At once, and all the damage that was done.

Was in the name of love, or so I thought.
I might have met my death believing this,
But no, there was a lesson to be taught.
Now, not just old, but ill, with much amiss,
I see things with a whole new emphasis.

My daughter's garden has a goldfish pool
With six fish, each little finger long.
I stand with and watch them following their rule
Of never touching, never going wrong;
Trajectories as perfect as plain song.

Once, I would not have noticed, nor have know
The name for Japanese anemones,
So pale, so frail. But now I catch the tone
Of leaves. No birds can touch down in the trees
Without my seeing them. I count the bees.

Even my memories are clearly seen:
Whence comes the answer I'm told I must
Be aching for my homeland, Had I been
Dulled in the brain to match my lungs of dust
There's  no recollection I could trust.

Yet I, despite my guilt, despite my grief,
Watch the Pacific sunset, heaven sent,
In glowing colours in sharp relief,
Painting the white clouds when the day is spent,
As it were my will and testament --

As if my first impressions were my last,
And time only made them more defined,
Now I am weak. The sky is overcast
Here in the English autumn, but my  mind
Basks in the light I never left behind.

Clive James, The Times Literary Supplement (May 2, 2014), p. 8