Embrace and celebrate life by dying with dignity

Embrace and celebrate life by dying with dignity

Saturday, February 02 2013 07:15
Written by Alexis Hugelmeyer, riverheadlocal.com

... We, as a society, need to understand that death is a natural, and can be a beautiful peaceful part of life. We need to plan for it, just as we plan for college, and babies and retirement. We should be able to understand what each living soul wants for their death as we are able to discuss and understand what they want for their lives.

I encourage you all to have an open, honest discussion about what you think death is, what the dying process is like, and what your wishes are for treatment or non-treatment. Your physician can help you to document your wishes so that your family is not left to decide what they think you would want. Pegasus House Palliative Care Service, under the direction of Denise D'Ambrosia, N.P. and Dr. Louis Avvento, is a tremendous resource for anyone facing chronic illness, palliative care or hospice needs.
To get the conversation started, I'll share my Life Wishes with you.

1. If possible, all available organs are to be donated to those in need.

2. If there is no reasonable chance of recovery to a meaningful existence, I would prefer not to be kept alive by artificial means.

3. Should I be facing a terminal illness and have no ability to recover with or without treatment, I wish to be kept pain free in the comfort of my own home, surrounded by those I love. I wish for music and laughter and joy to fill the emptiness of my absence.

4. I wish for those who know me to remember me as a righteous person who loved with reckless abandon.

5. I wish for my children to remember the lessons I have taught them and to extend that favor to their children. I wish for my name to be spoken to my grandchildren. I want my children and grandchildren to know that, they will be able to feel me even though they can't see me, just like the wind.

6. I wish that my husband to know that he is my split-apart, my soul mate and my best friend. I wish that he be encouraged to find love and companionship. I would like him to buy a Porsche with my life insurance money.

7. I want my family to know how proud I am to have lived and died a Venutolo-Mantovani-Hugelmeyer.

8. I would like my father and brother to know tat if I meet Jimi Hendrix in heaven I will definitely thank him on their behalf.

9. I would like my friends to know how they have enriched my life and continually challenged me to be better and do more.

10. I want anyone struggling with grief to read "The Fall of Freddie the Leaf."

11. I would like big donations made in my name to the two places that shaped my education and my future: Pinelands Regional High School and Villanova University.

12. I would like to be placed to rest wearing a Giants Jersey, a Villanova Men's Basketball hat and my ruby red slippers.

13. I wish for my patients and colleagues to know what an honor it has been to care for and learn from them. Being in their presence has never felt like work.

14. I want no funeral, no pomp and circumstance. I would like anyone who loves me to gather for a party to celebrate a life well-lived, to share stories of good times and laugh and laugh and laugh.

15. I would like to be cremated and my ashes to be mixed with my husband's when his time comes. I would like our joint ashes to be spread at the following locations: Villanova University, where we met and married; Davis Park, Fire Island, our favorite oceanfront spot, where my husband grew up and where we buried our beloved nephew; and the Pine Barrens of Tuckerton, New Jersey, where I was so lovingly raised.

16. And finally, I would like my mother's words to be kept in mind. "There is no such thing as goodbye. So-long, see ya later, hasta la vista. But never goodbye."

17. I'd like my loved ones to think of me whenever they hear the following songs: Sleepwalk by Santo and Johnny, Midnight Train to Georgia by Gladys Knight and the Pips, The Ocean by Led Zeppelin, and Boss Johnny by The Everymen. I'd like them to smile and remember me when they see red Ford Mustangs and any F-150.