I can't get no DVD satisfaction ... or, why reading a book is far simpler

After weeks seeking to understand why my Samsung DVD would refuse to work -- after all, why read the Great American Novels when you have 30's-40's Hollywood movies which arguably are the best, most memorable "products" of American culture, right there before you as you sit on your couch -- I finally got the darned DVD machine to work again.

Yes, it was a long and not-so-painful process, here presented, for your amusement, in chronological order starting from months ago:

(1) Trying to fix myself my apparently broken-down DVD, putting various wires into various ports, with no success (three hours).

(2) Going to the store Best Buy, where I bought the DVD, to understand why it failed to function. I was told to contact its "Geek Squad," which told me to call a Baltimore outfit (I live in DC) which would fix the problem for -- guess what -- hundreds of dollars. No to that -- I can't afford  it. (Another three hours; I have no car and depend on public transportation.)

(3) Waiting for the problem to be resolved by itself. Again, nada success. (Countless days, too many to be enumerated).

(4) Thinking, why worry about DVDs, she and I can always go to the movies (for 25 dollars!). But then I thought twice -- twenty-five bucks for a lousy flick? (five minutes).

(5) With the holiday season, resolved to get the DVD problem fixed, and did nothing, with a guilty conscience (28.5 minutes).

(6) Full of determination, after a pleasant 888-talk with a Samsung employee with a silky voice, sent the Samsung product or repair in New Jersey via UPS (two hours; ($40.00 fee from Samsung).

(7) Received reassuring e-mail from Samsung saying that the repaired product is in the mail.

(8) December 28, Repaired Product received.

(9) Repaired Product doesn't seem to work -- hours spent by yours truly trying to make it work at home (three hours).

(10) Called Samsung again, after an intermitable "I'll transfer you" reached a pleasant fellow who said, "your problem may be with your DVD-TV cable," but "you have no warranty."

Still, problem cable fixed, after I bought one (the cable, not the problem) at Best Buy! (two hours).

YES IT WORKED!!! 

Comment: Next time can I please just buy a book?