Notes from the Underground: Mortuary Science

Notes from the Underground:

 As a near-daily shopper at the Giant store in the North-West section of the District of Columbia (a twenty-minute drive from the heart of the Imperial Capital, Washington, time-of-drive depending on traffic conditions), I am struck not only by the extravagant prices of this Dutch-owned Giant establishment (in the Maryland/Virginia 'burbs you pay far more less for food) -- but also by the fact that "mortuary science" seems, at the risk my exaggerating, to have gone virtual with this DC supermarket's employees.

A charming lady in charge of flowers at this store left her job (I was told by one of her colleagues) to work at a funeral home. And today, while buying "discounted" avocados, an equally sociable check-out employee (with wonderful fake eyelashes) told me that she was studying "mortuary science" at a local learnery, not mentioning (as I assumed; her supervisors were nearby), that she would leave her current job.

I could not help but wonder: I should follow eye-lashes' example. Death management is the ultimate safety in these hard Great Recession times, as our extinction, no matter what, happens.

Forget social security checks. Work for a funeral home.