A Modest Proposal to solve the El Salvador "Caravan" crisis: Why not declare El Salvador a U.S. territory, if that is acceptable to its population?

On the Caravan, see (1) (2)

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Image from; the below does not suggest selling children as food, but it does echo a criticism of "heartless attitudes towards the poor."

From Wikipedia: 

In addition to the 50 states and federal district, the United States has sovereignty over 14 territories. Five of them (American Samoa, Guam, the Northern Mariana Islands, Puerto Rico, and the U.S. Virgin Islands) have a permanent, nonmilitary population, while nine of them do not. With the exception of Navassa Island, Puerto Rico, and the U.S. Virgin Islands, which are located in the Caribbean, all territories are located in the Pacific Ocean. One territory, Palmyra Atoll, is considered to be incorporated, meaning the full body of the Constitution has been applied to it; the other territories are unincorporated, meaning the Constitution does not fully apply to them. Ten territories (the Minor Outlying Islands and American Samoa) are considered to be unorganized, meaning they have not had an Organic Act enacted by Congress; the four other territories are organized, meaning they have had an Organic Act that has been enacted by Congress. The five inhabited territories each have limited autonomy and a non-voting delegate in Congress, in addition to having territorial legislatures and governors, but residents cannot vote in federal elections.

Also from Wikipedia:

Many organized incorporated territories of the United States existed from 1789 to 1959. The first were the Northwest and the Southwest territories, and the last were the Alaska Territory and the Hawaii Territory. Of these, 31 territories applied for and were admitted as states. 

How the U.S. (yes, granted, and its "establishment") can benefit from making El Salvador a USA territory:

• It would continue the great American tradition of territorial expansion (but in this case without bloodshed; think Louisiana Purchase);
• It would provide American Democracy [pardon the Trump-Twitter Imitation Capitals (TTIC)] /the military-industrial complex/business with another outlet to the Pacific/Central America;
• It would improve the lives of an impoverished population seeking a better life. (Think, in very different historical circumstances, the Marshall Plan in Europe after WWII.)
• The American workforce would be reinforced by persons -- many of whom are currently escaping their place of birth for its lack of economic opportunities and its corrupt/criminal political system -- willing to work hard (and at low wages) to obtain a better living, at this time of a labor shortage in the U.S.;
• It might even be considered by some in the rest of the world as an example not of Yankee imperialism, but of American generosity/enlightened self-interest in assisting an area in sore need of economic, political, and educational development; (Putin's Russia may be an exception, seeing the USA "take-over" of El Salvador as geopolitical revenge against the Third Rome's annexation of Crimea);
• It might even solve the problem of "illegal immigration" from El Salvador! And (maybe) more Americans would have to learn a foreign language :) ...

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Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, The wretched refuse of your teeming shore. Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me, I lift my lamp beside the golden door! 

inscription on the Statue of Liberty

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