Monday, September 10, 2018

Our Latest American War on Walking


See also (1) (2) (3) (4)

Image result for walking with you
corny image from

"[W]alking is not about the destination but the adventure itself. Almost all of the great philosophers — Socrates, Aristotle, the Stoics, Rousseau, Kant, Thoreau — were walkers whose ideas germinated only in motion."

America is a big, big, mighty big country.

The third or fourth biggest in the world, depending on how you consider the USA's coastal areas.

And our "homeland," as it became (sadly?) known in our new century, geographically expanded very, very rapidly since 1776, if compared to other countries.

So, to get around quickly in mighty big USA, we Americans just don't have time to walk.

This habit is in contrast to many other other parts of the world, where you walk, mostly out of necessity but also out of choice/customs/taste.

Certainly that's true of the Vatican (necessity -- sacramental obligation?). Or (I suspect, I've never been there) miniscule San Marino. Or in Prague (cultural mores in zlata Praha, a jewel of Europe), at least when I lived there in the early 1980s. But not in areas of Moscow, with its horrific traffic (where I decided never to drive again after three years there -- 1999-2002).

But I guess in Manhattan (it "originally" belonged to Native Americans, so it's not arguably [call your Supreme Court Justice] part of the USA) maybe even the richest may have no choice but to walk, given the state of "public" transportation in the Big Apple.

So: In America, historically (and what's your version of "history"?), we Americans don't have time to walk, even if we have to -- on severe occasions.
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Well -- I mean I -- ride, baby ride.

On a ship, on a horse, in a wagon, on a train, in a car, on a motorcycle, on a bus, on a plane, in a spaceship to get to the next state USA -- the Moon or Mars?

Who in the heck has time to walk?  It's too darn slow!!!

Sure, there's a tradition of paying lip service to "walking" in America.

To give it some publicly acceptable "cover," walking in the homeland is categorized as the politically-correct (for the left and right -- feet) "hiking" in pristine woods/our wonderful national parks.

And there have been, in all fairness, many all-American accounts of using your lower appendages for transportation ("Google" Google with the words "walking America") for info on this topic.

Also, let's not forget the pretentious academic-sounding books such as "Peregrinations: Walking in American Literature."

And how about the "stay-forever-young," "serious" physical exercise of jogging (an excuse not to confess the sin of actually walking if you don't run that fast? -- I confess I'm in that category.)

But still, given our American past -- fast, fast, faster expansion (but, plssss. not around the belt) via the latest forms of transportation, physical or electronic -- walking simply isn't in our blood.

Lone-riding is the thing, baby (no, not love-riding).

Lone-riding -- to be distinguished from "public" riding.

Riding is for me (let's talk about something interesting, let's talk about me), not to be shared (ok, some Americans do ride the subway or take buses, thinking -- why the f--- am I wasting my time to get where I need to go in a space that's crowding my own?).

Isn't Riding Alone (RA) the True American Way?
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These -- granted wild -- generalizations bring me to the main point (if there's one) of the above comments: the invasion of rent-a-scooter in American cities (thus far, to the best of my knowledge, mostly unregulated).

In Washington, D.C., where I live, these non-walking means of transportation are invading like locusts.

Reckless scooters [pardon the bad pun on "rackless"], dumped on sidewalks and national parks paths, are the new litter -- its many predecessors being, for example, empty Starbucks plastic cups with straws stuck into them via openings in circular covers (a metaphor for rape?); McDonald's insect-covered (poor insects!), junk-food wrapping papers; discarded prophylactics -- all items that, after being consumed, become trash every citizen despises but cannot eradicate given the junk's enormity/universality -- and all-too-silent acceptance of it by the silent majority?

[Full disclosure:  For my sins, which are many, I regularly pick up trash/litter in my neighborhood (this form of masochism lasts, thank God, under an hour), placing the junk in a ten-cent "Giant" store bag the contents of which I dump, when it's full of garbage, into the blessed communal bins in my DC area].

Seriously, though: These unregulated sidewalk scooters (and their "soulmates," the evidently unregulated rent-a-bicycle) are dangers to: (a) the riders/drivers (mostly young, so far as I can tell) of these vehicles themselves, who don't, from what I call tell walking around my neighborhood, wear helmets, a lack of precaution that can transport them to the morgue, but in an ambulance, not a scooter (b) to pedestrians, including elderly/handicapped persons (accidentally?) hit/run over by the rent-a-scooter/bicycle fans.

God Bless America. (But don't depend on God to come down from heaven on a scooter to give us a ride to eternal salvation.)
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And, if it's any consolation, if some angels do come down from above to saveguard the pedestrians living in our USA Walk-Less Land of the Freeway, they will be dancing with their wings, not with the stars -- sorry, I meant scooters. :)

Image via RB on Facebook

An interesting image, but it seems to misrepresent the meaning of evolution ...

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"11. Walk a lot
As you age, it’s the best exercise for you."

--Ken Fisher, "Retirement planning: 11 more ways to age your wealth gracefully and happily," USA Today

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